Depression

“You find peace not by rearranging the circumstances of your life, but by realizing who you are at the deepest level.”
― Eckhart Tolle

At 55 I was finally diagnosed with Major Depression and Anxiety disorder and it was suggested that I quit full time work. I had to take extended periods of sick and long service leave, and the last bout lasted around 5 months. My work was putting pressure on me to return, but the medical advice I received was that this was not a good idea. I began to see a Psychiatrist who changed my medications and slowly I started to feel better. It was a roller coaster ride for a few years but I could feel my mental health improving over time. I would still get periods of time when I was confined to the bed or the couch. I plan to do posts on how Depression affects me, I believe it affects people in different ways, although there are common symptoms. I am drained of all energy, look 20 years older, can’t concentrate or even watch TV. I just lay down with my eyes closed and have the radio on softly, to stop me thinking about it too much. As I felt a bit better I started Counselling and looking within. I started to see patterns and triggers including stress, the type of work i was doing, relationships and at times just a cyclic occurrence. One thing that really stood out was isolating by myself. I took volunteering roles that were just a few hours per day. Being an introvert I regained energy by spending time alone but too much of it was not good for me. I started to understand who i really was, Due to my upbringing my father chose my career, what sport to play, My relationship with my Mother affected my relationships with everyone else.